The Republican Candidates and the Magic Mirror
Six Republican candidates for President stood before the Magic Mirror hoping for its endorsement. Rudy Giuliani went up first and spoke to the mirror, "Magic Mirror tell me now. Am I the Rightwingiest of them all?" The Magic Mirror spoke, "Your support for abortion rights and your infidelity make you unsuitable for the title."
Fred Thompson went up to the mirror next. "Magic Mirror tell me now. Am I the Rightwingiest of them all?" The Magic Mirror responded, "You are a true, blue conservative and there is no doubt, but your sleepy presence I
can do without."
Mitt Romney confidently approached the Magic Mirror. "Oh Magic Mirror tell me now. Am I the Rightwingiest of them all? Perhaps a campaign contribution will help you say yes." The Magic Mirror indignantly said, "You're a flip flop expert and a political shill. You have the looks but not the will."
John McCain bravely walked up to the mirror and exclaimed, "Magic Mirror, I order you to tell me now that I am the Rightwingiest of them all." The Magic Mirror was beginning to get very perturbed. "Forget it John! You had your chance. You'll never make the final dance."
Ron Paul came up to the mirror and proclaimed, "Magic Mirror, would you like to make a contribution to my website? I'm not the Rightwingiest, and I don't pretend to be so. Also, bring our troops home now." The Magic Mirror started to crack, "Be gone from my midst Ron Paul. You're heading for a major fall."
Finally, Mike Huckabee calmly proceeded to the mirror. "Magic Mirror, I have heard the word of the Lord and he said that I've got what it takes. Just show me the sign that I am the Rightwingiest of them all." The Magic Mirror was impressed. "You are the Right Wingnut that shall march your party to victory. Let us hear an amen! By the way Mike, can you bring me the glass cleaner? I've been having a lot of problems with smears lately."